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A Journey Well Taken

  A journey well taken... Meeting Jesus a long the way. I got mixed up with some people that I had no business getting involved with. I was suffering from serious depression and was on all kinds of medication. My life was drowning and fast. Nothing was helping me. All the abuse I had suffered, I let win.

These women showed up at my moms business and acted as though they wanted to buy the place. They had their dogs and cat and kids and one of them claimed to be a therapist. Who thought she could help me, if she got me in a better environment. I was grasping at anything and when she offered a house in Austin, a place to heal and become me. I jumped at it. For me and my kids sake.

I didn't realize when we left my moms, what the state of their rooms looked like, the damage the kids and dogs had done. I didn't realize that they owed my mother money. I wasn't in the same universe they were at that time. I was blinded to so much because of the depression. Things happened so fast. I didn't even have time to register what was going on. The chaos was everywhere all the sudden. Not that I couold have registered it.

Well, not to go into to much detail, I will skip a lot. I ended up in Seattle WA. What is funny, is that I always wanted to go there, just not like that. Everything I owned was in a storage in TX, my kids were without me completely now and one was pregnant and only 17. I wanted to be there, I needed to be there, Austin was one thing, but WA was a whole new ball game. The thing is, once we left my moms and everyone noticed we were gone, they started calling. According to one of the ladies, my family was threatening them AND me.. didn't want me back there, good riddance. I was devestated. What could I do. I blanked out. I even got to hear them griping cuz I didn't drive to Seattle. They had to do it all. I wasn't there... I wasn't in my right mind. I had lost it. Thats how crazy it was.

All we had was my car, and my money, and the money i had coming from a divorce settlement. Which they knew about. Once we ended up in Seattle. my goal was to take my divorce money and find my way home. Of course it took me a month to register where I was in the first place. I just played cool. I realized I didn't know these people, not really and I had no idea what they were capable of.

When we got to the ones house that she owned in Seattle it was stripped. Nothing in it. It was freezing. The lights and water and cable was all turned on in my name. Apparently they couldn't have it in theirs.. I noted that in my head. I was getting food stamps and that is what we used for food. Though the ones kids, was not watched and did what they pleased instead of school and ate all day, went through loaves a bread in 2 days. I barely ate. I had maybe a ramen at night or a bowl of oat meal. I had a room in the freezing basement and was only allowed up at certain times. and I could use the computer as long as The one, is what I shall call her, she was the mastermind, could see what I was writing and read what I recieved from my family.

She told me that I had felony charges pressed on me for the whole take off thing, which made no sense but I was deathly afraid of being locked up because I had been as a teen. I was devastated.. crushed. She said she had access to that kind of info. Though now I know of course that you can't get it like she claomed.

She came up with a business idea to make money. I went along with it, because my settlement went to provide for the house. It was just gone, they had spent the whole thing, I got a toothbrush and toothpaste and deodarant, there was no going now., not that way. So, I did what I had to do. I did her advertising. Even on here, on PNN.. she is still on here too. I noticed she posted 21 days ago. After about 2 1/2 months, I started healing myself. Though I didn't tell her. She was capable of anything I found out. I found out that the 2 women were in a relationship, and then The One, was claiming the other was her stalker. But they slept together. I was thoroughly confused. Then I saw The One take 'K' down .. I saw her attack her another time, then 'K' was gone.  The One, took her out and took 'K' to a hospital and left her. Poor 'K' was so brainwashed by The One, that she believed she was a stalker. That she had all these problems and The One was innocent of all their crimes. That 'K' was the the criminal, the theif, the one making all the choices to ruin their lives. But I saw what was really going on. I couldn't help 'K', I couldn't even see how I was to help myself..

And there were crimes. I won't mention them here. I kept sending messages to my family in hopes that they wouldn't think I was actually apart of these women and what they were doing. My sister kind of got that message but without being able to come right out with the info, it was hard for them. My oldest had her baby without me, and was so angry. I felt so cheated and so sad. Both of my girls were suffering, and I couldn't get home. All the sudden I was responsible for Tho Ones kids and house and her dogs shit, I was 'her roommate and that is waht roommates did, they took care of everything' *according to her*.. and since 'K' wasn't there to take her railings, it was my turn. She HAD to lash out at someone, for her miserable state. I would just sit there, sometimes on the basement top step and turn my face and just try ti block out her words. Not let then affect me and my healing. And she would go on and on. Demand I look at her. I would, for a second, but if I kept looking at her, I would stand up for myself, get really pissed and that would of hurt me. She is small, but after seeing what she did to 'K', I was not about to try to mess with that. And she had her poor kids there, hearing all.. I can't be involved with that.

I tried to cover how I felt. I tried to cover the fact that I just wanted to go home, so that I didn't disappear. There are over 7000 homeless in Seattle. I couldn't end up one of them. She would say horrible things about my kids, my sister, my family, horrible things about how I was raised about how I turned out. She would always tell me that my sister and kids were sending her threats.. and then she lashed out about hoping that my kids and my sisters would be burned with acid, their flesh peeling off of them, that they would suffer the way they made her and her kids suffer. I felt sick to my stomach. How my family was making 'her' suffer? I have no idea. All I know is she left my family in devastation. And they just knew that The One and 'K' were going to take my money and leave me for dead somewhere.

I just kept telling myself, "Do what you gotta do to get out of here, in one piece. Don't listen to her, don't listen when she tells you how lazy and useless basicaly you are." "Get up, move, do what you gotta do". that's what I did. The whole while shedding the depression, the gained weight was falling off, I took myself off of all my meds, I was going to get home.

In August, I was on the computer, I had snuck on a few times becuase she got to where she wouldn't allow me usuage of it because I was contacting my family instead of doing her advertising the whole while. Of course I was trying to get my family. I wanted to try to get them to understand what was happening but The One had it where she had access to my passwords and she recorded things I said on the laptop. Which made me getting to my family even harder. My family saw the advertising I was doing for her and thought that instead of being kidnapped I went willingly. Which of course is not true. But how are they suppose to know these things? They can't.

Anyways, August 15th, I started feeling this desperation to get out and get out fast. I had been in love with the same guy since I was barely 15 yrs old. We were so totaly connected. But do to age and circumstances we ended seperated. But always connected. All the sudden all I  knew was that I needed to get to him. It was so intense and I started planning thinking, wondering what I could do. I didn't know Seattle. I had no money, no gas for my car, couldn't go anywhere anyways, she would know. So I went onto the back porch with the kids that day, it was a Saturday and I looked up at the sky and I prayed and told Jesus, If I am to get out of here, do something that is impossible to let me.
Well.. I had my youngest daughters prepay phone on me, no minutes, it didn't work, so I told him, "make the phone ring". "that will be my sign that I am going home". Believe or not, Five minutes later, I heard a singing coming from the basement. I ran in and ran down and the phone was singing for me. Unknown caller, no number. And it kept singing. It wouldn't turn off. I started crying. I was afraid she would hear it and I was freaking out that he had done it. He had!!! After it stopped, I went back out and looked up and started crying some more.. I told him, thank you and said, "ok, so how amd I getting out of here?" and "where's Jamie *the guy*?"

I couldn't contain my excitement. I tried. She got so mad at me. I didn't want to watch her kids anymore, I didn't want to clean up after her dogs shit, I just wanted to be with my own kids, I got to where I didn't care if she railed at me. I snuck ont he computer again this one time,. and I have this social network and I had an email from this guy who had joined it. I read it and contacted him. We talked back and forth for about a week. After the 2nd email, I know this very weird, but, I knew that I was in love with him. That's how I am. It was that way with Jamie. And it was real and forever type. With 2 husbands, After Jamie, nothing, I felt nothing. My heart knows itself very well. My mind, is in touch with my heart. I'm just that way. The hard part for me was that I still loved Jamie. Totaly confusing for me. I didn't understand it. But there this guy was. Coyote. And he loved me. Without seeing eachother in person, it was still intense and real. I felt guilty, because of Jamie. Like I was betraying him, though we hadn't been together in 20 yrs.

The intensity to get out and get to Jamie grew, even loving Coyote, couldn't stop it. On August 28th, The One, let me on the computer. I had an email from my oldest daughter. It was telling me that Jamie was dead. That he had died. My grandmother lives still where we all lived, Ruidoso, NM, that is where Jamie was from as well. So she told my family and they told me. I couldn't read the words enought times. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be real. I had just felt him 2 days before, so completely, felt him. No lie. It was like he brushed a kiss on my my cheek, it was so soft, feathery, but I felt it, cuz I cried.

When The One, saw me just sitting there and the look on my face, the tears that were trying to come, she got up and read it. Then she said, "Don't you cry about this, if you cry you can go to a shelter right now, you will ruin my manifestation if you grieve him, I'm trying to get money here and you will blow it". I looked at her dumbfounded. How cruel, how course, how inhuman. But I didn't cry, I couldn't anyways.. I needed confirmation.

Two days later, I snuck on the laptop, I contacted my sister n law and asked her to search it for me to see if it was true. It took her 3 minutes to come back with -"I'm so sorry Rhonda". She sent me the story from the paper. The most amazing thing ever had happened to me. He died August 26th, of lung disease. I got the first email on the 28th, on the 26th is when I felt him. I had known to get to him, though I didn't know why, it was so strong all the sudden to get there. And then I felt the kiss. I started to let tears fall, and then they stopped. It was too much. I COULD NOT grieve him. He wasn't allowed to dead. Then there was Coyote. I turned to him, didn't tell him what happened. But he was such support. Without even knowing he was. I couldn't stand the idea of loving someone else. It was too scary now. Coyote could just die on me too. Here I was going through all this other stuff and the outside world around me was crashing down.

I quit talking to Coyote, also, she started sleeping with the laptop. I was so determind to get out. One morning she made point to tell me that she had just looked me up to check my criminal record and said that I had a felony on me and I was just freaking out over this. I was so upset that I snuck out and ran to the neighbors house and pounded on the door and begged for their phone. I called my mom. I told her everything as I cried my eyes out. Four hours later, police showed up at the door asking for me. The One, was not happy. I walked straight out, not knowing what was happening. Went to the street and they asked what was happening. There were 4 big cop guys surrounding me and woman cop asking the questions. I havent felt that safe in years. They couldn't do anything with her because I was not being held at gunpoint or tied to a chair, but they did give me some good advice to get help. She was the one wanted. Not me, They said tha tmy record was spotless. I laughed. 

When I got back inside she didn't ask what they wanted, The first words out of her mouth were that she had 2 new life coaching clients all the sudden and did I want one of them. I just looked at her. She was nuts. Two mintues later she wigged out. I sat on the step and listened. It went on and on. How dare the cops show up at her house.. I just wanted to tell her how much of liar she was, how she was the criminal and what the freak kind of therapist was she.. But I kept quiet.    

The next morning I got up early, got in my car and went to the salvation army church 2 miles down the road. I met a man there, Justin, he was the social worker. He let me use his phone and I made in 4 days over 400 phone calls for help. My family was tapped out. Couldn't do anything. And neither could anyone else. He saw what I looked like and how strong I was being. And on Friday, After call after call, he said to me, "Rhonda, if my pastor will pay for a bus ticket, will you take it, I know you have your car, but will you?" I just looked at him and said, "yes". After that I made one more call. I met this man, and he said he would foster my cat for me. I just cried. She was 11 yrs old and had been throught hell there., and I just wanted her to be safe and happy. She loved me. So the guy said he would meet me at the church, Justin told me to go get what little I had and get back to the church and he would take me to the bus.

I snuck everything out of the basement and got my cat and got in my car and when I got back, the man was there to take Angel. I cried, he cried and then he hugged me and said, good luck and handed me $40. And said, I am so sorry that that is all the cash I have on me. I cried some more and hugged him again. Justin was behind me, smiling. I said goodbye to Angel, told her that I love her, and watched her leave. I had lost everything because of these women. Everything. My money, all my belongings, my cat, my car, my kids were angry....but they had me get well,, they had without knowing it, made me want to fight to live, to shed the depression, to get off the meds to lose the weight, to get home and just be grateful for whereever I was and what I had. I had so hated Texas and now I all I cared about was getting back here.

Justin got me to the bus station, paid the ticket, and gave me the change. He hugged me and told me when I got home to call. I hugged him again and told him how grateful I was and that I would be ok. He smiled and left.

On the bus, people noticed that I wasn't eating and drinking., three days of bus riding and people giving me money and food. It's like Jesus was saying, "here you go Rhonda. All is well, I am looking out for you, your going home."

Today I sit here and write this, I have grieved a little for Jamie, I talk to him at night looking at the stars and I have gone through the grief stages, some all at once and some seperately, then I go right back to one I just finished going through. His death is such a major blow to my life. To my heart. But we talk everynight.

I walk outside and I tell Jesus everynight~~~~~!!!!! Everynight, "I am grateful, thank you, it was a good day". No matter what was in my day. He has provided for me like crazy since I got home, ya, I lost everything, but I live in a big nice house, have addition to my family, have my kids and a grandson, and I have Coyote still.... And he is coming here to be with me and we love eachother. We did even talka bout Kamie finally. He was very sweet and understanding. Told me not to worry about something happening to him as well. Though that part is a little hard to comply with.

'K' is in jail awaiting her trial. The One though she thinks she is getting away with everything..."All I have to do is stay out of the state of Texas for a year and I'm fine" her words... But she isn't gettting away with it. If I can testify for 'K', I will, The One, is the mastermind behind all.. she needs to be the one to pay.

She is still in Seattle, she still has her life coaching website up and is still getting money from people. She has a 'donation' page on there..uhuh. People actually give her $50 at a time. Buys her a carton of cigs. 

continued.... 

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